i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
