I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
