im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
