Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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