I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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