is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize