ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize