dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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