I got chris browned last night
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
