My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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