Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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