Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
