you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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