i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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