Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
