you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dicks are not precious.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
