I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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