We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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