just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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