I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
