I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize