Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
