I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
