It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
