at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
