How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
