if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
