You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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