Welp...herpes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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