i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No subtext here. People are naked.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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