he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
