what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
