Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
