____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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