if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
