I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize