I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
A bitchslap is in order.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize