Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
be right there i have to get my cape
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
