Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
