When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
