you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
