Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
