Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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