I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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