I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
