he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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