I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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