i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize