hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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