he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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