Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
