I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
