Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
