I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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