I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
