All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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