There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
