rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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