Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize