You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
