I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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