he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
