i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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