And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
