Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
