don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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